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Geronimo (immediately on waking up): whine-whinge-complain
Me: Hey, let's start by being thankful for a new day, shall we?!
Geronimo: Mum, we've had Mondays before.
Points for knowing the book that contains the title. Maybe I've used it before? I'ts a favourite saying of mine.
Getting the little vonerables ready for school on a normal day is major. Even on a day when there aren't lost shoes, a trip to to deli for eggs, unironed uniforms, stale bread, and shoes left in the rain. Even on the easy days it's hard. So a sports carnival morning is kinda crazy: face paint, coloured hair spray, streamers, extra food and, on this occasion, lots of wet weather gear. Did I mention I was paranoid about supervising a team sport during high winds and heavy rain? I had jackets, raincoat, spare clothes, spare shoes and enough food for a week. I'm not sure why I thought I needed extra food. Must be some kind of security blanket. There was lots of "Hurrrrry up!" this morning and we still managed to leave late.
You can imagine my joy at getting a text halfway to school that the carnival was postponed! Crying children but Mummy is punching the air! And I was mean enough to still send them to school...tempting as it was to just spend the day rugged up watching little people's dvds. Actually, I can't watch their movies, so maybe that's where the strength came from to send them to class?
The rain is good. Perth really needs a good soaking. Especially people like my folks with real gardens.
Hearing: the drier
Tasting: tinned rambutan
Feeling: weary
Wondering: whether the vonerable's school will see sense and cancel the sports carnival tomorrow. Oh please, please let it be cancelled. I have volunteered to supervise a tabloid sport for the first time. I do not want to have to do it during a severe weather warning.
Thinking: life is sweet and hard and full
Wishing: I was on the other side of the montage stage of getting fit
Liking: mp3s of Bethel sermons
Avoiding: the folding
Listening: to Sweet Spot by Antje Duvekot (or listen on iTunes)
Remembering: I now have an e-l-e-v-e-n year old. 11. Who makes and ices her own cake.
I adore this child. I'll say more about here eleveness of goodness another time. But she is heart-stopping beautiful to me. And I really feel I'm in the sweet spot of my life. There are lots of happy tears these days. I'm turing into that Aunty who cries at everyone's birthday/wedding/afternoon tea in the backyard from the sheer blessedness of having each other and knowing such love. Oh, I forgot. Prunella claimed that role years ago. Can I be co-crier, Prune?!
I've moved on. I'm sure you all did too! There's been a lot going on in the house of vonerable. Lots of growing and changing and making props for a wedding. Some coughing children, some needing help from family, a little wallowing, and then a whole lot of exercising.
If you know me well, you would know that last word should be surrounded by exclamation marks, highlighter, and an audible cheer. Yes. I am exercising. Something has changed big time. It's hard to explain, but it has a lot to do with letting go of fear of not having enough energy. Fancy that? Being afraid of not having the energy to deal with my life actually blocked me from having the energy to throw myself into it. There's probably a book in there somewhere. It's hard to describe the liberation of actually being able to work out. It feels AMAZING.
So I say to all of you who are thinkning, "Why can't I do that thing?" (whatever the equibvalent of exercising is for you): maybe you can't try your way into it. Maybe you have to turn away from fear. I had very good reasong for my fears. The last decade with newborns and young children was bloody hard. It nearly did me in mentally and physically. And yet, I always had a choice to trust and hope or to go into fear about getting through the next day. Fear felt reasonable. I would love to go back ten years and tell myself how this was going to work out. Since I can't, the next best thing is to tell you.
This is a picture of my brother and my beautiful sister-in-law during their daughter's marriage last weekend. It is one of my most favourite photos. They know a thing or two about trust and peace. I love being around them and I loved watching them throughout the wedding as they poured love and honour on my niece and her husband, their gathered friends and family, and each other. Beautiful.
